The problem is that they may not be able to identify the ‘nice guys.’ Even if they can, there is baggage they cannot see but is ‘red flags’ for the ‘nice guys’.
This last aspect of dating is the hardest to handle, because those red flags are exactly what attracts Mr. This article is inspired from a woman I talked to this morning who has been searching for a nice guy for almost 5 years.
I constantly work with women who are tired of cycling through ‘bad boys’ or dysfunctional relationships.
They want to find someone worth spending the rest of their lives with.
She has found more than one, but she always sabotages the relationship because she expects the nice guys to behave with what she calls normal.
It is better to be single than to let the bad boys teach you ‘bad habits.’ The first thing you need to learn is that Charm is not enough to land a nice guy. You need time to learn who you are – not who you are told you are. Being single is not fun, but change will not happen without it.
When a nice guy finally shows up, it’s hard to find yourself fully attracted to him right off the bat. When you’re used to a**holes and finally meet a guy who’s truly kind, you’re always waiting and assuming that there’s some dark secret or sh*tty behavior is just around the corner. Basically, dating a nice guy after a bunch of a**holes is kind of like watching a horror movie — the gloomy music chimes hard and you’re waiting for the killer to jump out at any given moment, but then you realize you’re actually just watching a Disney movie and there’s nothing scary about it at all. You’ve been with so many idiots who have flipped the script on you before when you thought you were in safe territory, so it’s hard to believe that pattern won’t repeat.
It’s not that he’s not awesome, it’s just that you’re used to that stomach flip and the element of danger that comes with meeting a guy who’s a complete d*ck. You think his kind gestures have an ulterior motive. Remember, no matter how many a**holes you’ve experienced, there are nice guys out there too — this could finally be one of them.
You’re taken aback and when you thought everything was going well, they break up with you for a reason that puts the blame on you.
If you’re with a jerk you’re prepared for what he is going to do.