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The "doormat" approach to mate hunting is based upon the basic idea that you can BUY appreciation and affection directly, through behavioral bribes.
So the first and most important step is, to recognize that THAT is what you have been trying to do, and to genuinely realize how stupid and objectifying of others that approach is.
Being a doormat usually entails going along with things you really don't want to go along with for the sake of pleasing another.It means they think you're okay enough to keep you around as a backup while they look for someone they'd rather date more. If I call him on it, then I expose him for the jerk he is and it will be hard to work around that. If he continues to call and feign interest in getting together, you could catch him by surprise, and ask him point blank why he's calling you when he has a gf? I know that hurts because a guy did that to me too once. How long was he gone, and did you talk to him during that time? Maybe he likes you only moderately, and he was keeping you on the back burner while getting to know other women. No he didn't call me during that time, but he said he would. He fell off a ladder and was gone about a month or so. It's not right for someone to do that to another person but live and learn, yes? He met someone else, and is too cowardly to tell you, so he's pretending there's still a relationship. (Notice the dead silence on his end of the phone.) You could even toy with him and threaten to tell the gf that he's calling you, because you have mutual friends with her. But really, he's being a jerk.) Anyway, how you choose to handle it is up to you, but just be aware that nothing will change. Did you guys talk before he left about whether you'd pick up where you left off, or did it end like a breakup? He texted me once and did say he wanted to hang out when he got better. Later on, I called him, but I didn't get any response. No he didn't call me during that time, but he said he would. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. Over ,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Am I just the doormat and that's why he thought it was ok to treat me like one? Ask him why he treated you that way but it sounds like there was no contact for the entire time he was gone on medical leave which would be my first clue that he really was not interested in a long term relationship anyway. Except when he was leading me on and asking me out but never making plans. So why would a guy take the time to date me, then lie about wanting to get together again, lead on, ect and not actually want to date or be each others bf/gf and then start a relationship with somebody else(if in fact that's what he did). Am I just the doormat and that's why he thought it was ok to treat me like one? It's called being a "backup" or "spare tire", and some people do that. You can either confront him and try to get him to admit that he's moved on and has a gf, or you can just drop it, accept that the relationship with you is over, and move on. He fell off a ladder and was gone about a month or so.