"I'm going down the parkway from Westchester, and it's very beautiful, very scenic, you know, the trees blowing in the wind, the sun coming through the clouds—and I had this crazy epiphany.""I was like: I'm gay. It's who I am." At the time, Nicole had been separated from her husband for a year and had begun exploring same-sex relationships but was in the midst of one last reconciliation attempt with him."I started having this fantasy that I'd just stay married until I was in my sixties, and one day I'd meet some woman and she and I would adopt old dogs and, like, live on a ranch," she says, laughing and shaking her head.Dear Bel I am a married woman, in my 40s,with children who are almostgrown-up.My marriage is notunhappy although we've had upsand downs, same as most.I say 'unfortunately' because Idon't want to break up mymarriage or have an affair; but thefeelings are there and I don't knowwhat to do with them.Strangely, I have no problem withthe fact this friend is female.But I loved my husband, Mark, and for a while our relationship was quite passionate,” Lavelle explains.“He was from Belgium, and we’d met as teenagers when his brother had been my pen-pal.
“Suddenly, watching her perform, I realised that I didn’t just like her. I was in turmoil: I didn’t know if it was just a crush or whether it was something more – something about myself that I’d uncovered.” Lavelle wanted her mother, who was dying, to see her settled, so she tried to brush her thoughts aside, and married Mark.
Myhusband is mostly decent,hardworking and kind, but also shyand self-centred; preferring hisown company, he finds people andsocialising difficult.
He finds itincredibly hard to 'share' himself orbe emotionally involved withanyone, myself included.
In late 2005, Joanne published her book producer asking for assistance in finding married women who are lesbians.
Fleisher explained that they would have difficulty finding women currently married to men who would be willing to appear on TV if they're in the middle of figuring out their sexuality.